Life is Absurd, and Yesterday I Noticed

I love the absurd. Strange things happen to me fairly regularly, and I should record them. All this happened yesterday:

It was about 10 a.m., and I heard a soft knock at the door. I figured it was the Jehovah's Witnesses because they're the only people who come by at 10 a.m. Sure enough, it was! But they were Spanish-speaking-only JWs. When I answered the door, they immediately started speaking Spanish to me (and I understood a good bit of it). Finally, one of them stopped and asked me, "Do you speak Spanish?" I answered with an enthusiastic "No!" They handed me two tracts (in English) and went on to the next house.

I received my Berry Alumni magazine in the mail yesterday, and tucked inside was a copy of the Spring 2009 newsletter for the United States Sports Academy. We get a lot of mail for the house's previous tenants, so I thought perhaps it was for one of them. No: It was addressed to a woman living in Philadelphia. It was post-marked out of Macon, Georgia, which is strange because the return address is in Alabama. My theory is that somewhere in Georgia, the Sports Academy newsletter slid into my Berry magazine and never saw the light of day until it reached Austin.

Finally, according to the Austin Chronicle, Danny DeVito will be in Austin tomorrow to sign bottles of his Limoncello liqueur. I texted most of my friends in Austin about it. My favorite reactions:

• Gloria: If that isn't the bottom of the barrel, I don't know what is.
• Dave: Weird. I love that butterball of a man.
• Kev: Man, everybody's coming out with their own booze these days.
• Leslie: Crazy I didn't know he had a liquor. What is it Wild Turkey?

And if you're interested in getting a bottle of Limoncello signed by Mr. DeVito, he'll be at the Twin Liquors at the Hancock Center tomorrow from 11 to 1.

Realizations of Significance

I have made some significant realizations in the last week that are the results of sub-concious shifts in thinking, new paradigms if you will. They may seem trivial and superficial, but I assure you, dear readers, they point to larger issues in my life.

1. Houston is not a bad city, and it is much easier to drive there than I thought.
2. Berry's Alumni magazine is clearly focused on a demographic of conservative, conventional Atlanta yuppies.
3. I do not like American Apparel's clothes.

Now to explain the significance of these realizations:

1. While I have no desire to live in Houston and feel much more at home in Austin, driving there is surprisingly easy. Perhaps this is because I'm more comfortable as an urban driver. After successfully tackling two drives through Houston, I now have a change in my mental outlook on driving in general, bringing a better sense of well-being to my life. I.e, very significant.
   
   
2. My alma mater wants money, and as much as I love Berry College, I don't give a shit about the Cage Center. I didn't when I went there, and I certainly don't now. That magazine is not meant to tell us alumni about what our fellow alumni are up to. No, no. It has that appearance, but it is all attempt to get us to give money. And who's the most likely of Berry graduates to give money? Conventional, conservative Atlanta yuppies. Significant? You bet. My school only sees me as a dollar sign. I will say, however, the cover story about the doctor in New Orleans was interesting.
   
   
3. I'm sick of hipsters and their clothes. American Apparel clothing is boring, overpriced, and overrated, and I don't understand why hipsters who work in coffee shops would spend what little money they have on those clothes. Granted I can applaud the use of fair labor. That's great. Wonderful. But what about the moral inconsistencies regarding the CEO? Sexual harassment, anyone? I don't think I can justify $25 on a t-shirt, especially when the head of the company is asshole. If only there were more fair trade clothing options that were stylish...

For more on the American Apparel controversy and lawsuits, check out knowmore.org for a full report.