As an ardent fan of only "good music" and a true progressive feminist, I have to openly admit: I still love the Spice Girls.
It has been 10 years since Geri left the band. I remember watching 9 and 10 year old British girls crying on TV. I was 15 and I remember thinking how pathetic it was that 9 year old girls thought their lives were over because Ginger left the group. I was just leaving my pop music stage, opting for artists like Beck and Fiona Apple.
But I loved the Spice Girls. They were so crazy and their music was fun. And they had this mantra of Girl Power that I liked. They even had the 10 Golden Rules of Girl Power:
1. Be positive
2. Be strong
3. Don't let anyone put you down.
4. Be in control of your own life and your destiny.
5. Support your girl friends,
6. and let them support you, too.
7. Say what's on your mind.
8. Approach life with attitude.
9. Don't let anyone tell you that you can never do something because you're a girl.
10. Have fun!
But with 10 years of perspective and maturity, I realize that Spice Girls were a source of conflict instead of empowerment.
They were a fabrication, entirely fake, including their nicknames. All of it was to make money, and I knew it. As much as I consumed their happy music, I knew I was being fooled.
More conflicting, though, was their sexuality. They oozed it, flaunted it, waved it in front of all our faces. Unlike teenage Britney, they knew exactly what they were doing. They were all in their 20s, young and beautiful with no reason to keep covered up. The feminist in me understands but can't quite applaud.
They had legions of young fans. Very young fans. Pre-pubescent fans who didn't understand that blatant sexuality. As a teenager, I was uncomfortable to see the little kids I babysat emulate the Spice Girls. I didn't know how to process the Spice Girls' message - how could they?
I still love Wannabe. I still know most of the words of Say You'll Be There. I admit this 10 years later, still wondering what's appropriate and how feminism can practically adapt to our media-saturated society.
Showing posts with label feminism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feminism. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Cute, Nice Girls
I'm fed up with being cute: I want to be taken seriously.
I was telling Kevin (my boy of significance, though not quite my boyfriend yet) that it seems that young women, especially attractive, polite ones, are viewed as "nice, cute girls" and therefore not taken seriously. It's as if we (yes, "we" because I very much fit into the category of females mentioned above) waiver between status as a passive doormat or an overly aggressive bitch.
I want to be somewhere in between. i want to be seen as a human being and sometimes, I want to be legitimately angry and assertive in order to fix a wrong. I will not apologize if that makes me a bitch.
It can be more subtle, though. In my professional experience, I saw the spectrum. Some people in my office would take me very seriously, even with my embroidered owl skirts and large, ethnic-looking earrings. It would be too simplistic to say it was only men who viewed me as "some nice, cute girl" and therefore didn't treat me as a professional equal. Sometimes, older women were the worst at patronizing younger women in a professional setting.
Honestly, though, I felt I was treated well by co-workers. My work was valued, I was respected. I have good references now to prove it.
It's unfortunate that wardrobe and appearance can dictate the way people treat you, especially if you're a "nice, cute girl." I tried to dress modestly in the office and wore a lot of Ann Taylor clothes. This helped, I think. But I've mentioned the large earrings and the owl skirt. I wonder if clothing will always have such an impact on the way women are respected and treated.
I have nothing against being a polite, genuinely kind person. Emphasis on the word "person." Not "girl." I try to treat people with dignity, respect, and kindness. That's all I want in return. So often young women don't receive all three and settle for latter: kindness, or it's shallow sister, niceness.
But I'm done with it: I'm done being "cute" and "nice." If it makes me a bitch, fine. I'd rather have more genuine relationships built on honesty and respect.
I was telling Kevin (my boy of significance, though not quite my boyfriend yet) that it seems that young women, especially attractive, polite ones, are viewed as "nice, cute girls" and therefore not taken seriously. It's as if we (yes, "we" because I very much fit into the category of females mentioned above) waiver between status as a passive doormat or an overly aggressive bitch.
I want to be somewhere in between. i want to be seen as a human being and sometimes, I want to be legitimately angry and assertive in order to fix a wrong. I will not apologize if that makes me a bitch.
It can be more subtle, though. In my professional experience, I saw the spectrum. Some people in my office would take me very seriously, even with my embroidered owl skirts and large, ethnic-looking earrings. It would be too simplistic to say it was only men who viewed me as "some nice, cute girl" and therefore didn't treat me as a professional equal. Sometimes, older women were the worst at patronizing younger women in a professional setting.
Honestly, though, I felt I was treated well by co-workers. My work was valued, I was respected. I have good references now to prove it.
It's unfortunate that wardrobe and appearance can dictate the way people treat you, especially if you're a "nice, cute girl." I tried to dress modestly in the office and wore a lot of Ann Taylor clothes. This helped, I think. But I've mentioned the large earrings and the owl skirt. I wonder if clothing will always have such an impact on the way women are respected and treated.
I have nothing against being a polite, genuinely kind person. Emphasis on the word "person." Not "girl." I try to treat people with dignity, respect, and kindness. That's all I want in return. So often young women don't receive all three and settle for latter: kindness, or it's shallow sister, niceness.
But I'm done with it: I'm done being "cute" and "nice." If it makes me a bitch, fine. I'd rather have more genuine relationships built on honesty and respect.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Morally ambiguous coffee
Most days, I'm happy to be a 21st century American woman, thanks to my relative freedom and equal status. Then I come across shit like this, and I wonder if feminism has accomplished anything. Maybe we should burn our bras again. At least we'll get some attention.
What further disgusts me about Latte Dolls is that it advertises as having certified fair trade coffee. I guess any business around here can be legitimized by appealing to progressive yuppy politics. I hate to see fair trade used merely as a pawn to get people who don't regard themselves as consumers to become just that - consumers (of both coffee and degrading raunch).
Just because the farmers are paid fairly (and I suppose the 'dolls' who work there are compensated well, too) doesn't mean this is okay. But there are plenty of coffee alternative about town, and I won't waste my time staging a boycott. I just wish women would say no to such jobs and people would take their business to places that are truly progressive - places that treat women as people rather than sex objects.
In the mean time, I'll continue to get my fair trade coffee where the barristas are fully clothed.
What further disgusts me about Latte Dolls is that it advertises as having certified fair trade coffee. I guess any business around here can be legitimized by appealing to progressive yuppy politics. I hate to see fair trade used merely as a pawn to get people who don't regard themselves as consumers to become just that - consumers (of both coffee and degrading raunch).
Just because the farmers are paid fairly (and I suppose the 'dolls' who work there are compensated well, too) doesn't mean this is okay. But there are plenty of coffee alternative about town, and I won't waste my time staging a boycott. I just wish women would say no to such jobs and people would take their business to places that are truly progressive - places that treat women as people rather than sex objects.
In the mean time, I'll continue to get my fair trade coffee where the barristas are fully clothed.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Deconstructing the Hillary Hate
Yesterday afternoon, I heard this story about the New Hampshire primary on NPR's All Things Considered.
What struck me was not Obama's humor but Clinton's personal response. The amazing thing about radio is that people are left only to their audible voices - there isn't as much to distract the listener. I find I actually think about the news when I listen to NPR, I soak it in rather than just consuming it. And when I heard Hillary respond in such a seeming genuine way, I thought, "She really believes in this. She really believes in what she's doing."
Either she is genuine and truly believes what she expressed, or she's a damn good actor. I know a lot of people who would believe the latter, and no matter how she comes across, they cannot believe her to be genuine in anything she says.
But why am I so surprised and, strangely, touched by her genuine, human response? Did I need her to become human?
Why is it that she, as a woman, needs a more feminine touch? And is that related to why so many people, especially ardent conservatives who hold strong gender biases, hate her so much?
Is America ready for a woman as president?
First, the easy part. Yes, I think conservatives hate her because she's a woman. She's playing a man's game, and she's playing it very well. She's threatening, she could win. They claim they don't hate her just because she's a woman, but because she's a conniving politician who's only interested in power.
If that's the case, why does she elicit so much hate when male politicians have been doing the same thing for the entirity of this country's history? Because good politicians have to embody stereotypical male dominance, and a lot of people, especially in conservative circles, don't want a bitch (read - a woman with dominance) running their country. We have not come nearly as far as I thought.
However, I believe what she is doing is incredibly significant. As a girl, I always wanted to see a woman as president, but by the time I was in high school, I had nearly given up on the notion. Once in college, I though it would never happen in my lifetime.
But here she is, with the good and the bad, doing well despite the Iowa set back. She has a chance, a strong one, and I'd be lying if I didn't admit that excited me. I can't hate her, even if I disagree with her (and to an extent, I'm not sure how much I disagree with her).
But being back in Georgia made me realize that there are a lot of minds that won't change, and a lot of people who don't believe her when she's being human. That's why the sound byte is significant: She convinced me for the first time because she was displaying feminine characteristics of vulnerability and sensitivity. I want a leader who admits his or her feelings from time-to-time. Politics needs to embrace the feminine, and maybe this country could actually get better if it were less about dominance and more about the greater good.
Still, I have to wonder why am I so relieved that Hillary finally became feminine. Why is it that I need her to be more "like a woman"? This is the not-so-easy part. It somehow legitimizes her candidacy, and I realize I have been swayed by the Stop Her Now rhetoric. I have been supporting Obama because I thought he'd be less hated and more likely to win. I knew the Hillary haters would never be won over, and now more than ever, I believe that's because she's the type of woman that she is. It has nothing to do with her politics.
Her expression of emotion, concern, and vulnerability have re-painted her as a candidate for me. I'm sorry to admit that's what it took, but at the same time, I believe her. I believe that she wants to make this country a better place and ensure the opportunities America promises are available to as many people as possible - male or female. She embodies that possibility, even if she isn't as soft around the edges as people would like.
I don't think she'd do a bad job, either. She can't do any worse than our current president, right?
What struck me was not Obama's humor but Clinton's personal response. The amazing thing about radio is that people are left only to their audible voices - there isn't as much to distract the listener. I find I actually think about the news when I listen to NPR, I soak it in rather than just consuming it. And when I heard Hillary respond in such a seeming genuine way, I thought, "She really believes in this. She really believes in what she's doing."
Either she is genuine and truly believes what she expressed, or she's a damn good actor. I know a lot of people who would believe the latter, and no matter how she comes across, they cannot believe her to be genuine in anything she says.
But why am I so surprised and, strangely, touched by her genuine, human response? Did I need her to become human?
Why is it that she, as a woman, needs a more feminine touch? And is that related to why so many people, especially ardent conservatives who hold strong gender biases, hate her so much?
Is America ready for a woman as president?
First, the easy part. Yes, I think conservatives hate her because she's a woman. She's playing a man's game, and she's playing it very well. She's threatening, she could win. They claim they don't hate her just because she's a woman, but because she's a conniving politician who's only interested in power.
If that's the case, why does she elicit so much hate when male politicians have been doing the same thing for the entirity of this country's history? Because good politicians have to embody stereotypical male dominance, and a lot of people, especially in conservative circles, don't want a bitch (read - a woman with dominance) running their country. We have not come nearly as far as I thought.
However, I believe what she is doing is incredibly significant. As a girl, I always wanted to see a woman as president, but by the time I was in high school, I had nearly given up on the notion. Once in college, I though it would never happen in my lifetime.
But here she is, with the good and the bad, doing well despite the Iowa set back. She has a chance, a strong one, and I'd be lying if I didn't admit that excited me. I can't hate her, even if I disagree with her (and to an extent, I'm not sure how much I disagree with her).
But being back in Georgia made me realize that there are a lot of minds that won't change, and a lot of people who don't believe her when she's being human. That's why the sound byte is significant: She convinced me for the first time because she was displaying feminine characteristics of vulnerability and sensitivity. I want a leader who admits his or her feelings from time-to-time. Politics needs to embrace the feminine, and maybe this country could actually get better if it were less about dominance and more about the greater good.
Still, I have to wonder why am I so relieved that Hillary finally became feminine. Why is it that I need her to be more "like a woman"? This is the not-so-easy part. It somehow legitimizes her candidacy, and I realize I have been swayed by the Stop Her Now rhetoric. I have been supporting Obama because I thought he'd be less hated and more likely to win. I knew the Hillary haters would never be won over, and now more than ever, I believe that's because she's the type of woman that she is. It has nothing to do with her politics.
Her expression of emotion, concern, and vulnerability have re-painted her as a candidate for me. I'm sorry to admit that's what it took, but at the same time, I believe her. I believe that she wants to make this country a better place and ensure the opportunities America promises are available to as many people as possible - male or female. She embodies that possibility, even if she isn't as soft around the edges as people would like.
I don't think she'd do a bad job, either. She can't do any worse than our current president, right?
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